Sometimes I feel like a burden
Not everything I’ve had I’ve earned
Not everything I’ve memorized I’ve learned
Like I just spit whatever comes to mind
And I’m always lucky that it’s the right thing to find
I feel awkward and bulky
A mass that’s strange and hulky
Something that shouldn’t always exist where it does
Something that should’ve been born not where it was
Sometimes I think I slow people down
Because I hate all loud sound
And I can’t be touched for too long
Or I really, really hate that song
And sometimes it’s just because I speak
And my voice comes out too high, too weak
I sometimes feel too weak to talk
Sometimes I feel too weak to walk
Yet I power through knowing there’s a way to prove my worth
That I was born here and that my mother gave birth
To something not disappointing
Something anointing
A new tradition
A new vision
Sometimes I feel myself wishing for a different world
One where I can watch everything perfectly unfurl
Like rose petals in spring
Or the notes that the songbirds sing
But for now, I look at the world in disdain
And it stares at me and tries in vain
To whip me into a shape I loathe by the day
But hopefully, maybe, this problem will go away
Maybe
***
This is an older poem, from a time I don’t quite remember but still sits in my heart. I think everyone feels like a burden, sometimes. Part of me wonders if being a “burden” comes from comparing ourselves to society or to what we hope to be in the future. Either way, I believe the remedy is to live in the present, because at least then, life moves too quickly to allow time for regret.
Alice Griffin Writes 