Categories
poetry

That Night

There’s a strange silence that settles over the house

A kind of uncomfortable quiet that sets in

It happens in the later hours

When patience is stretched thin

It starts with the ridiculing and little jokes

That aren’t as funny as they seem

It ends with the strange little silence

And a bitterness sweetened with the word “mean”

It’s moments like these I feel a little colder

And remember who I am

Yet if I told anyone in this strange hour

I know that it would be met with dismissal and ban

I can still feel its tendrils curl

Around my stony, black heart

And I know that if I tried to smile

Old pain might just start

So, for now, I escape to sleep

And writing down each thought

And hope that tomorrow I’ll forget about this night

The night when everything fine was not

***

I think we’ve all had nights like this, whether alone or with others. They’re strange times, especially when it gives you a different perspective with how the world operates. I do not enjoy these times, but I do so their value. I hope I portrayed that indescribable emotion well enough.

Categories
poetry

You Are Enough to Me (Am I Enough to You Pt. 2)

Over a year later I still sit in my room

And think about the past

And when I smile

It’s not worthwhile

Because the emptiness will always outlast

Over a year ago I sat alone

Watching the fan and feeling blue

Lying in bed

With nothing but my head

I still wonder, “am I enough to you?”

My strength has only grown

And it shows through when I speak

I feel more comfortable in this body I call home

Even though I still see my pride as weak

I still hold all my records and highs

With a few more skills to add

But when you sigh

I always cry

Because your disappointment is unbearably sad

I stand as tall as one can stand

With expectations as high as mine

And as I reach out to take your hand

I can’t help but feel tremendously behind

For now, I apologize for my slowness

To my loved ones and those who I always see

But one day

I hope you’ll say

“Truly, you are enough to me”

***

A long title, I know, but I did want to include the fact that this is a sequel to a much earlier poem. Lately, I’ve been having feelings of inadequacy, both in my relationships with other people and the skills I’ve cultivated. Although I have picked a few things back up, starting them again has made me realize that I am more behind than I thought. Perhaps I should be easier on myself. However, I don’t find I have the energy nor the time to do so between activities.