Burden

Sometimes I feel like a burden

Not everything I’ve had I’ve earned

Not everything I’ve memorized I’ve learned

Like I just spit whatever comes to mind

And I’m always lucky that it’s the right thing to find

I feel awkward and bulky

A mass that’s strange and hulky

Something that shouldn’t always exist where it does

Something that should’ve been born not where it was

Sometimes I think I slow people down

Because I hate all loud sound

And I can’t be touched for too long

Or I really, really hate that song

And sometimes it’s just because I speak

And my voice comes out too high, too weak

I sometimes feel too weak to talk

Sometimes I feel too weak to walk

Yet I power through knowing there’s a way to prove my worth

That I was born here and that my mother gave birth

To something not disappointing

Something anointing

A new tradition

A new vision

Sometimes I feel myself wishing for a different world

One where I can watch everything perfectly unfurl

Like rose petals in spring

Or the notes that the songbirds sing

But for now, I look at the world in disdain

And it stares at me and tries in vain

To whip me into a shape I loathe by the day

But hopefully, maybe, this problem will go away

Maybe

***

This is an older poem, from a time I don’t quite remember but still sits in my heart. I think everyone feels like a burden, sometimes. Part of me wonders if being a “burden” comes from comparing ourselves to society or to what we hope to be in the future. Either way, I believe the remedy is to live in the present, because at least then, life moves too quickly to allow time for regret.