There’s a special revelation that comes with existence
When there should be absence.
It’s an itching
An uncomfortable whim
A whisper in the back of the mind that grows
And sparks
And blazes into beautiful
Terrible
Glory.
I can tell you that I exist in a state of permeance
When it should be impermanent
Things exist
When they shouldn’t
And that revelation cost me my normality
But granted me my euphoria
And I will endure.
I will endure the pain.
The thrumming.
The dull, hollow ache of existence
For the absence
And I cannot wait.
***
I have had a difficult time existing the way I am, recently. My thoughts are often melancholy or worse, numb. Although this makes for a excellent writing-session, it takes a toll on my daily life. As I always do, I will recover, but for now, it feels a lot like sitting in the midst of a storm that does not have a clear ending in sight.